Saturday, August 27, 2005

The Old Man

“No, no,” Keith told himself. “No, I didn’t see him. He’s dead. That old man is dead!”
He didn’t want to believe that he’d seen the old man. It wasn’t possible. That evil, vile, horrible , sadistic old monster was dead and buried. No matter what the hold man had made Keith do in the past. Things so terrible it made him shudder to even think of them. He had no power over him now. There was no way that is was the old man he’d seen. Dead men couldn’t come back.
“But what if it was the old man?” Keith asked himself.
The mere though of that sent chills down his spine and he broke into a cold sweat. It had been so difficult to get rid of him in the first place. He found that fighting him was impossible, and in the end he had to call in help from a man he now considered his Deliverer. The fight wasn’t easy. There were times when Keith was sure he wouldn’t make it out alive. The old man was a lot stronger than he looked, and having been torturing and controlling Keith for his entire life, the old man knew his every weakness. Finally Keith called out “Save Me!” and the house was filled with a light brighter than the sun and he closed his eyes against its terrible beauty. When he opened them he saw the Deliverer, still glowing, thought the light had dimmed to a bearable intensity, standing over the body of the old man. They buried him together. The Deliverer told him that he was free from the old man’s control and to call on him if Keith ever needed help again.
Thinking back on the power that it took to finally defeat him, Keith thought that if the old man came back, even from the grave, the no power in heaven or earth could rid him of his evil. Although he told himself that it was impossible, part of him was convinced that he had indeed seen the old man. He was horrified by the thought, and equally horrified by the other feeling that had worked up inside of him when he though he’d glimpsed his old master. As much as he feared and hated and feared the monster, and loathed who he was while under his control, Keith loved him as well. Some sick part of him wanted him back.
He had spend nearly a week relishing his new freedom. There were times he found himself beginning to do some of the old man had required of him in the past, but with a sort of jubilation he realized that he was no longer a slave and he didn’t have to do…those things.
That week of freedom, that jubilation, ended when on his way home he passed somebody that looked just the monster. He was sitting on a park bench smiling that sadistic grin that meant he had just had the most terrifically evil idea and was about to Keith to work. Keith almost walked right pas him, barely noticing the old man, but then he realized who it was on that bench, or at least who he looked like. Keith couldn’t be sure because when he looked back, the bench was empty.
His skin breaking out in goose bumps, a sensation that brought up all of the memories and filled him with desperate fear and a sickening exhilaration, he stepped up his pace. He had to get home. He felt that he would be safe there. Even though it was inside that house that the old man had held him captive, it was also in that house that the old man had been killed and he was buried in the back yard. Keith had to see that grave. Then he would know.
On his way back to the house he though he saw the old man again, riding a bicycle on the other side of the street, grinning wickedly. Again when Keith tried to take a close look, he was gone. After that, he thought he could see the monster everywhere - behind every corner, in every shadow, and somehow, every person he saw smiling seemed to be smiling his old master’s evil sneer.
Finally, he saw his house in the distance and began running towards it. As soon as he started to run, he was sure that the old man was running behind him and he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to make it home. He didn’t want to look back for fear that it would slow him down, or that he would see the monster and freeze in his tracks. He just knew that the second he reached the front door of the house he’d feel that old boney hand grip his shoulder from behind.
No one grabbed him when he reached the door, or during the agonizingly long seconds it took him to retrieve his keys from his pocket and open it. He slammed the door behind him, locked it and ran to his bedroom which had a window to the back yard. Even in the dim twilight he could see the grave site under the large oak tree in the back of the yard. To him immense relief, the ground about the old man’s body was undisturbed.
“He’s dead” Keith said. “He’s dead! He’s still dead!”
The terror began to subside as he turned away from the window. The old man was still in the ground. Keith was still free. Mentally scolding himself for getting so scared, Keith went to the bathroom. The fright of the last hour had made such a visit very necessary. Afterwards, while he was washing his hands, he glance up at the mirror and immediately the terror, and its accompanying joy was back. There could be no question. The old man was there. In the reflection staring back at him, and he was grinning.
Keith spun around, screaming, be he was alone in the bathroom. The old man wasn’t there.
“Where are you?” Keith asked slowly. “I know you’re here somewhere!”
There was no answer but that familiar, chilling laugh and it seemed to come from everywhere. Keith looked around the bathroom finding nothing. He moved to the bedroom, checking the closet, under the bed, even crazily opening his dresser drawers, but he still couldn’t find the source of that continuing hideous laugh. Before leaving the bedroom to check the rest of the house, he looked out the window again to check the grave site. It was still unmoved.
The laughter continued as Keith searched the house, checking every possible hiding place and a few impossible ones. He found nothing. Fianllay after tearing apart his entire home, he fell to the floor in a fet of terrified sobs.
“Where are you?” he screamed.
“I’m right here, Keith.”
He heart that old, raspy, spine chilling voice say.
He looked up and saw the monster standing right in front of him in all his horrendous glory. He looked bigger, stronger, more evil and more beautiful than he had before. His skin was wrinkled, his eyes piercingly black, his hair whiter than snow, and his grin widened, his yellow and rotted teeth taking up nearly half his face. He smelled of the earth he’d been buried in.
“No!” Keith yelled. “No, God, Please!”
“I’ve always been here,” the monster chuckled. “You can’t get rid of me so easily.”
“You’re dead!” Keith cried. “You’re dead.”
“Do I look dead, Keith?” The monster crouched down and with his skeleton hand he grabbed Keith’s face underneath his chin and tilted his face upwards. Looking the monster in the face, Keith was overwhelmed with fear, loathing, and longing. He wanted to kill him, run from him and embrace him at the same time.
“You though you were free! You though you had killed me didn’t you? You fool! You can’t kill me. I’m part of you!”
“I hate you!” Keith spat.
“You love me!” the old man spat back.
Keith was silent. Under the terrible gaze of this old monster, Keith couldn’t say a word. The old man was right. Keith loved him. He couldn’t deny the love any more than he could deny the fear. The words of the Deliverer came back to him.
“If you ever need me again, all you have to do is call on me and I will be there.”
Keith knew he should call him and he wanted to call him. But his sick love for this horror of a person kept him from doing so.
“Stand up Keith,” the monster ordered. Keith did.
“We’ve got some catching up to do.”
“No,” Keith whispered. “Please, no.”
“We had some good times together my friend. Such fun, No? What do you say we pick up where we left off?”
“I don’t want-”
“Oh, but you do Keith. You know you do.”
“Why aren’t you dead?” Keith asked.
The old man laughed and once again that hideous sound filled the whole house.
“Because you don’t want me to be dead.” He said. “You wanted me back, and here I am.”
A line from a song Keith had once heard came to his mind.
“How can I be free from a prison I love”
How could Keith ever be free from his cruel master if a good part of him longed for his presence. He could call for the Deliverer, and the monster could be killed again, but how long would it be before Keith’s own desire for the old man would bring him back again? What was the point of freedom if he’d rather be imprisoned.
“Come Keith,” the old man said, moving towards the window. “Let’s get started.”
“No!” Keith said, but even as he said this he was moving to join the monster.
“Remember the old feeling Keith?” the old man said. “Remember the power! You were in control!”
“No, You were in control.” Keith countered.
“we were.” The old man looked out the window, looking for somebody on the street. Keith know that look. The blood lust was in the old man’s eyes and Keith felt the old sickening excitement building up within him.
“I want to hurt somebody!” The monster hissed, and Keith realized that he had said it too.
A many walked by the house. The monster’s eyes lit up.
“What about him?” Then an old woman came from the oppisite direction. “Or her? She’d be fun, huh?”
“No” Keith said quietly, “No, no, no.”
“Yes, Keith.” the monster replied coolly.
“I don’t have to do this.”
“Oh but you do.” the monster hissed. “You called for me. You wanted this. Now as always, you are mine, My slave.”
“I am no man’s slave!” Keith yelled, and he tore himself from the window.
“Get back here!”
“No!” Keith cried. “No! I don’t want to! I don’t want to hurt anybody any more. I want nothing to do with you!”
“You have no choice.”
“You have no power over me!” Keith shot back. “You’re dead!”
“I’m not dead.” the monster replied. “As long as you live, I live you. I am you Keith.”
“Not anymore!”
“You love me!” The monster seemed to be accusing and pelading at the same time.
“Yes,” Keith admitted. “But I hate you more!”
The monster lunged at him, but Keith was unphased. He knew now what he needed to do Despite his love for this monstrous beast, Keith had to be rid of him. He never wanted to be that man again. The monster was him, but that monster had been killed, and Keith was not the same man. While by his won power he couldn’t rid himself of the old man, there was on whose poser was unmatchable.
With a triumphant smile on this face Keith cried out “Savme me!”
Once again the house was filled with bright light. Keith shielded his eyes and fell to the floor. When he opened his eyes again he saw the Delivereer standing over the monster. He was dead again.
The Deliverer turned to Keith and extended his hand to him. Keith took it and was helped to his feet. He embraced the Deliverer, weeping. While part of him had loved the monster, all of him loved this man. He felt safe in those arms.
“Thank you.” Keith said. “thank you for saving me!”
“You know I’m always here.”
“Should we bury him again?” Keith asked. But when he looked to where the body had been he saw nothing.
“He’s gone Keith,” the Deliverer told him. “He has no more poser over you.”
“Except the power I give him” Keith said. The Deliverer nodded.
“Will he be back?”
“Probably” the Deliverer replied. “But though he may come back to hanut you from time to time, remember that I and always here. He can’t defeat me, and if I’m on you wide, he can’t touch you.”

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